Motherless Daughter and Daughterless Mother
I lost my mom when I was 16. She got sick with ovarian cancer when I was 12 and lost the fight 4 years later. I am now 34 years old. She missed my high school graduation, college graduation, engagement, wedding, and the birth of my children. And I have missed her every step of the way. I miss that connection that moms and daughters have. I am envious of my friends who still have their moms with them. They can call them for advice when their children are sick and so on. I could not wait to be a mom. I wanted to give to my children what I didn't have. I now have two sons. I love them with all my heart. I love being a mom. However, I am saddened that I wasn't blessed with a daugher. I wanted nothing more than to have a little girl that i can call my own. I feel as though I have two losses- one being my mom and the other of the mother- daughter relationship I will never have.
A very close friend of mine is having her first grandchild. He daughter is pregnant. She is excited about going to the hospital and being there for her daughter. I am equally excited, but also saddened. This is something I didn't have and something I will never have with my own child. I hate feelign this way and I suppose it will never get easier. I feel as if I am grieving all over again anytime someone has thier mom while having a baby or someone has a daughter. I hate it!
Then I read the posts of young girls who are missing thier moms and my heart breaks for them. I know what it was like to feel "alone" growing up. I am a grown up and still feel alone. I am in a household of "men" and yearn for that connection that only women have.
Does anyone else feel this way without a mom or daughter?