larchetti

I wrote in an earlier blog that I wish I had a daughter, thinking it would fill my void in missing my mother and recreate the relationship I am looking for.  I am just wondering if there is any adults out there that either have a daugther and it makes a difference or don't have a daughter and yearn for one.  Am i alone on this?  I feel like a brat when I complain that I don't have a daughter.  I have two beautiful sons and some people can't even have that for one reason or another.  So, I am thankful.  I just feel robbed of the fact that I lost that bond on both ends.

A friend of mine also lost her mom when she was 9.  She has a daughter however, she really wanted boys.  SHe was fearful of having a girl becuase she said she didn't know what to do with her since she really didn't have that when she grew up.  Her memories of her mom are minimal.  I thought this was so weird since i thought all women who lost thier mom would think like me.

My husband truly feels that a girl would not fill the void I have for my mom.  Even if I was to have a girl, he feels that I would still be sad and miss my mom.  So, what is the consenus out there?  I would love to hear your perspectives.

I lost my mom when I was 16.  She got sick with ovarian cancer when I was 12 and lost the fight 4 years later.  I am now 34 years old.  She missed my high school graduation, college graduation, engagement, wedding, and the birth of my children.  And I have missed her every step of the way.  I miss that connection that moms and daughters have.  I am envious of my friends who still have their moms with them.  They can call them for advice when their children are sick and so on.    I could not wait to be a mom.  I wanted to give to my children what I didn't have.   I now have two sons.  I love them with all my heart.  I love being a mom.  However, I am saddened that I wasn't blessed with a daugher.  I wanted nothing more than to have a little girl that i can call my own.   I feel as though I have two losses- one being my mom and the other of the mother- daughter relationship I will never have.

A very close friend of mine is having her first grandchild.  He daughter is pregnant.  She is excited about going to the hospital and being there for her daughter.  I am equally excited, but also saddened.  This is something I didn't have and something I will never have with my own child.  I hate feelign this way and I suppose it will never get easier.  I feel as if I am grieving all over again anytime someone has thier mom while having a baby or someone has a daughter.  I hate it!

Then I read the posts of young girls who are missing thier moms and my heart breaks for them.  I know what it was like to feel "alone" growing up.  I am a grown up and still feel alone.  I am in a household of "men" and yearn for that connection that only women have.  

Does anyone else feel this way without a mom or daughter?