Does having a daughter make a difference?
I wrote in an earlier blog that I wish I had a daughter, thinking it would fill my void in missing my mother and recreate the relationship I am looking for. I am just wondering if there is any adults out there that either have a daugther and it makes a difference or don't have a daughter and yearn for one. Am i alone on this? I feel like a brat when I complain that I don't have a daughter. I have two beautiful sons and some people can't even have that for one reason or another. So, I am thankful. I just feel robbed of the fact that I lost that bond on both ends.
A friend of mine also lost her mom when she was 9. She has a daughter however, she really wanted boys. SHe was fearful of having a girl becuase she said she didn't know what to do with her since she really didn't have that when she grew up. Her memories of her mom are minimal. I thought this was so weird since i thought all women who lost thier mom would think like me.
My husband truly feels that a girl would not fill the void I have for my mom. Even if I was to have a girl, he feels that I would still be sad and miss my mom. So, what is the consenus out there? I would love to hear your perspectives.
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- Posted by:Lisa
Motherless Daughter and Daughterless Mother
I lost my mom when I was 16. She got sick with ovarian cancer when I was 12 and lost the fight 4 years later. I am now 34 years old. She missed my high school graduation, college graduation, engagement, wedding, and the birth of my children. And I have missed her every step of the way. I miss that connection that moms and daughters have. I am envious of my friends who still have their moms with them. They can call them for advice when their children are sick and so on. I could not wait to be a mom. I wanted to give to my children what I didn't have. I now have two sons. I love them with all my heart. I love being a mom. However, I am saddened that I wasn't blessed with a daugher. I wanted nothing more than to have a little girl that i can call my own. I feel as though I have two losses- one being my mom and the other of the mother- daughter relationship I will never have.
A very close friend of mine is having her first grandchild. He daughter is pregnant. She is excited about going to the hospital and being there for her daughter. I am equally excited, but also saddened. This is something I didn't have and something I will never have with my own child. I hate feelign this way and I suppose it will never get easier. I feel as if I am grieving all over again anytime someone has thier mom while having a baby or someone has a daughter. I hate it!
Then I read the posts of young girls who are missing thier moms and my heart breaks for them. I know what it was like to feel "alone" growing up. I am a grown up and still feel alone. I am in a household of "men" and yearn for that connection that only women have.
Does anyone else feel this way without a mom or daughter?
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- Posted by:Lisa