CourtneyBeth

my first mothers day without her.  this is so very hard, no on one seems to understand. i try not to think about all the other daughters/sons celebrating this day, but it is thrown in my face with commercials & ads to sell product. my husband had to work today, so i am all alone. maybe its better that way..?

my sister & i planted a tree on my pap's farm in honor of her.  i miss her so much. her smile, laugh & voice. this is dedicated to the BEST mother in the WORLD..Patricia E Olenchak.

will it be any better next year...will it be any better tomorrow??? 

it'll be a 2 months next week since shes been gone. I also leave for hawaii next week to take care of her estate. It'll be hard to clean out her stuff. i think this will be my toughest test. i am much too young to have to do this. i am certain this will be the hardest thing i've ever done. i will be traveling over by myself. Which in a way could be good...have time to myself, but also be very upsetting that i will have no one their w/ me.

It has been a month since my very beautiful, vibrant mother passed. Everyone keeps telling me it'll get better, just give it time.  Personally, it seems to be getting worse.  I didn't see her everyday (she lived in Hawaii & I in Pa)...but we talked & emailed each other daily. I miss hearing her voice & getting her funny emails.

I regret not having kids for her to meet or for them to meet their awesome grandma. I worry about my sister so very much.  She is not married & lives alone. Atleast i have my husband (& in-laws). i think i cry myself to sleep atleast 3-4 nites a week.